


I Want to Find Out ♪♪

by ddelusionall



Category: JYJ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Awakening, IT'S SO FLUFFY, M/M, Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:41:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23929348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: Junsu didn't think he'd fall in love when he went to college. But he didn't know that he'd meet Yoochun.
Relationships: Kim Junsu (JYJ)/Park Yoochun





	I Want to Find Out ♪♪

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](https://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

Stress.

Junsu was used to dealing with stress. He spent all of his high school career balancing music, dancing, soccer and his family.

Why was college different?

What made it so everything he knew how to do just wasn’t enough anymore?

Junsu stumbled on a crack in the sidewalk, and his books and papers flew everywhere. He sighed. That was why. Even though he was only taking four classes, the workload was almost double that of high school. And soccer practice was three hours every day, and dance was every weekend. He was close to dropping out of choir. He had to make a choice between his three loves, and singing was it. His rationalized that he could sing when he danced and his teammates were always chuckling at him for randomly breaking out into song on the field.

But he was studying music, on a soccer scholarship. He couldn’t drop one or the other. He needed both. So maybe he should drop dancing? At least this semester.

Junsu checked his watch. He was already ten minutes late. By the time he arrived to his Popular Culture and Music class, the teacher wouldn’t even let him in.

With another sigh, he bent down to gather up his things. He had to study for a math test anyway.

Pure, sweet twangs of a guitar traveled in the air, and Junsu looked up, searching for the source of the sound. He couldn’t see anyone, and figured the guitarist was in a building with the window open. The music continued, and Junsu let the notes fill his heart, and his mind, and he felt himself physically and mentally relax.

He hefted his things into his arms and headed toward the library, feet easily finding the beat of the music. When a gravelly, warm voice started singing, Junsu almost dropped his books again.

There was no way that voice would carry that well if the singer was in a building, so Junsu stopped and turned, looking. His feet led him toward the sound, and moments later, he spotted him, across an expanse of grass. There was a small courtyard, full of tables, surrounded by trees. The guitarist sat on a table, his leg propped up on the bench. Other students sat around him, listening to him play and sing.

Junsu let himself walk over the grass. Eyes never leaving the musician, he sat on a patch of grass at the edge of the courtyard and let his books fall next to him. His eyes were trained on the guitarist’s long fingers, plucking the strings, manipulating the sweet song. His forearms were strong, and pale orange shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows. The collar lay open, buttons undone, and showing off collarbones, a strong neck, strained, throat wobbling from his singing. His face was handsome, if Junsu was honest with himself (quite another form of stress that he wasn’t ready to deal with). He had full lips and high cheekbones. Long hair brushed across his forehead. And their eyes met and Junsu stopped breathing for a moment, lost in the sparkle that shown through the darkness and emotions. The man smiled, dimples showing in his cheeks, and then he shut his eyes, voice rising at the climax of the song.

What would he sound like at a different form of climax?

Junsu cleared his throat. Well, he could study here just as well as the library, right? He found his math book and notes, sat cross-legged, and tried not to look up at the musician again.

The song ended, and the small audience clapped for him. The musician laughed, the sound as deep and warm as his singing voice. He thanked his audience, and then started another song. Junsu recognized it immediately and tried not to laugh. It was a very popular pop song, but sounded very different on the acoustic guitar. He’d done a dance routine to it a few months ago, and his feet itched to get up and dance. He stayed seated but let himself tap his pen to the beat. He noticed that the musician didn’t sing, but the audience did, so Junsu let himself add his voice to the group.

“You have a really good voice,” a girl said near him, and startled, Junsu looked up and stammered his thanks.

The guy started playing again, a song Junsu did not recognize. Their eyes met for a moment, and then long lashes fluttered across apple-cheeks and shut, before a smooth, jazzy voice echoed around them.

_Feeling this new  
impossible way  
Can it be you  
or am I falling away?_

_Trying this new  
impossible route  
Can it be real  
or am I finding out?_

_Love, love, love, love  
Is this what it feels like?  
Is this what it means?_

_Love, love, love, love  
think I want to find out  
if this is what it means_

_Walking this path  
impossible dream  
Can it be true  
or are you a dream?_

_Floating on clouds  
impossible task  
It has to be true  
I am going to ask_

_You, you, you, you  
Is this what it feels like?  
Is this what it means?_

_Love, love, love, love  
think I want to find out  
if this is what it means  
falling in love with you_

_with you, with you, with you  
I don’t want to wake up  
I don’t want to get down  
I don’t want to stop this  
Love, love, love, love  
think I want to find out  
if this is what it means  
falling in love with you._

The girls cheered wildly and Junsu remembered how to breathe. The musician caught his eye again and smiled, and Junsu smiled back.

“One more, Yoochun-oppa, please,” a girl said, almost whining.

“Okay,” he said, in that tenor voice that did not send shivers up Junsu’s spine, no it did not.

Yoochun.

His name was Yoochun.

Junsu missed the first line of the new song, because his brain was stuck on that tidbit of information. It was another popular song, and this time, Junsu had no problem at all singing along. When it was through, Yoochun put the guitar down and stood up. A girl handed him a bottle of water, which he took with a smile of thanks.

Junsu watched, entranced as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down while he swallowed.

Junsu had to swallow too. Throat tight. Body tight.

When he was done drinking, Junsu had to remind himself to breathe, because the gorgeous musician walked over to him.

“Hey,” he said.

Junsu managed to say “Hey” back, though it was rough.

“I haven’t seen you out here before.”

Junsu cleared his throat and licked his lips. “I um ... am supposed to be in class, but I was late...”

“Oh, you have one of those professors that won’t let you in class if you’re late?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh well. Good music is better than class.”

Junsu raised an eyebrow at the man calling his own music good, and he laughed, dark, deep, chuckle that vibrated down Junsu’s spine.

“Hey, if I sucked, no one would want to listen, and you wouldn’t have stopped.”

“True. You don’t suck.”

He laughed again. “Thanks. My name is Park Yoochun, second year.”

“Kim Junsu, first year.”

“First semester, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Junsu forgot about math, and they talked about both of their fields of study. Yoochun was studying music too, but the business side of it. He liked composing and playing, but actually singing and performing was too structured for him. He wanted to be a producer.

A girl came over what felt like only moments later, and reminded Yoochun about their class. Junsu tried not to show his disappointment.

Yoochun stood up and said, “You’re trying to do too much at once, Junsu-hoobae. Relax a little. You’ll be here for four years, you know.”

Junsu returned his smile, and watched, barely breathing as Yoochun sauntered over to the table, picked up his guitar and sauntered away. He looked over his shoulder once, met Junsu’s eyes, smiled and winked.

When he and the group following him disappeared, Junsu fell onto the grass with a sigh. Park Yoochun.

His watch beeped and he shot up with a shout. He had to get to his math test.

\---♪♪♪♪♪---

After another week, Junsu went to talk to his advisor. Everything was killing him and he wasn’t eating or sleeping well.

The advisor had smiled, like she knew he was going to crack under the pressure, and told him to drop a class, and that choir could count as a couple of credits if he filled out this piece of paper and had his choir teacher sign it.

Junsu was so grateful that he kept his mouth shut and did not demand to know why the advisor did not tell him this before.

And he dropped his Popular Culture and Music class. Yes, it was required. Yes, it was his easiest class, but ... well, he’d take it next term.

The next day, he almost flew to the courtyard, and he was not disappointed. Yoochun sat at a table with a few girls, and Junsu slowed, and cursed, because just because he and Yoochun had talked and their eyes had met didn’t mean there was anything between them. Or hell, it definitely didn’t mean Yoochun was ... well, like Junsu was. (He was getting used to it. He’d admit it to himself soon.)

And then Yoochun caught sight of him and called his name and waved him over. Junsu went, feet staggering a bit.

“Late for class again?” Yoochun said as a girl moved down the bench so Junsu could sit across from Yoochun.

“No,” Junsu said. “I don’t have class at this time anymore.”

“Really?”

Junsu nodded. “I ... I had to drop. It’s like you said, I was doing too much.”

Yoochun smiled widely. “Good. These girls are too embarrassed to ask you, but would you sing with me today?”

Junsu swallowed deeply and nodded. “Of course.”

“Excellent.” Yoochun stood up and moved to another table where his guitar was. He picked it up, strummed a few cords, and adjusted a string. “Any requests, Junsu-hoobae?”

Junsu swallowed. “Um ... I don’t know. What can you play?”

“Practically anything. How about ...” Yoochun started playing H.O.T.’s Happiness, and everyone laughed. Junsu definitely knew all the words to this song of his childhood. And he knew the dance. Doing his best not to blush, Junsu stood up and sang and danced, and the girls laughed and a few of them joined him in dancing.

Before the laughter from that song was over, Yoochun launched into Candy, and Junsu danced. He spent the rest of the break dancing and singing his way through pop songs with Yoochun watching every move.

When they were done, Yoochun threw his arm around Junsu’s shoulders and said, “You are amazing, why aren’t you an idol?”

Junsu shrugged. “I wanted to play soccer. My brother is working on a singing career.”

“You must be an amazing soccer player.”

Junsu tried not to blush.

By the next week, Junsu slept more and ate more, and he was more relaxed. He spent every other day with Yoochun in the courtyard, and he finally had a group of friends. He listened to the girls chatter, and found out that Yoochun was not attracted to any of them, and he hadn’t had a girlfriend for months. They all wanted to date him, but the last girl he dated never came to listen to him sing anymore, so they were reluctant to give that up.

Junsu did not blame them..

“I wrote a new song,” Yoochun announced one day after Junsu had exhausted himself dancing again.

The girls cheered, and Yoochun smiled softly, and said, “It’s kind of private, but you guys know me. I can’t help but show off.”

The girls laughed.

Yoochun met Junsu’s eyes just before his fingers ran through a soft introduction. It was a slow song, not completely unusual, but Yoochun’s songs tended to be upbeat and jazzy.

As soon as he started singing, Junsu smiled.

_The sun is brighter  
The storm is weaker  
The work is shorter  
When you smile for me  
smile for me  
smile all day  
laugh for me  
laugh for me  
laugh all day_

_You’re in my thoughts  
You’re in my dreams  
You’re in my heart  
because you smile for me  
smile for me  
smile all day  
laugh for me  
laugh for me  
laugh all day._

_Everything about you makes me fly  
Everything about you makes me smile  
Everything about you makes me feel  
things I haven’t felt in a while._

_I keep your smile  
close to my heart  
I keep your laughter  
close to my soul  
Nothing else makes me happy like  
when you smile for me  
Smile for me  
Smile all day  
Laugh for me  
Laugh for me  
Laugh all day  
Smile for me  
I want you to  
Only smile for me  
Smile for me_

The girls “awwwwww”ed when he was done, and Junsu had a hard time breathing again. Yoochun was a very very good musician, and that was why Junsu’s heart felt like it was bursting from his rib cage. That’s why he couldn’t take his eyes off Yoochun.

Yoochun set his guitar down and grabbed his bottle of water, and Junsu hastily looked away. He learned that he couldn’t want Yoochun drink or eat anything without having problems with tight pants afterwards.

A shoulder bumped him and Yoochun sat next to him. “Well?”

“Good,” Junsu said.

“Thanks. It’s about you.”

Junsu’s eyes widened. “Huh?”

Yoochun shrugged. “I ... I like you. I can’t stop thinking about your smile or your laughter, and I ...” He broke off, cheeks going red. “Sorry. I wasn’t going to tell you, but I had to.”

Junsu looked around them, anywhere but at Yoochun, and saw that the girls had given them space and Junsu hadn’t noticed.

“I understand if ... well, I ... this is why I write songs. I can’t talk straight when it comes to stuff like this.”

Junsu smiled and finally looked at him, their gazes locking. “I ... I’ve never like a boy. Or ... I guess, I haven’t ever had a boy like me back, but I ... okay. Talking is bad.”

Junsu shut his eyes and tried to remember, almost three weeks ago, the lyrics to the song he’d first heard Yoochun sing. “think I want to find out,” he whispered-sang, “if this is what it means.”

Yoochun smiled widely and sang with him, “love love love love think I want to find out if this is what it means falling in love with you.”

Junsu blushed when their voices died, noting that there wasn’t any noise around them anymore and the girls had all left. Or at least they had moved away. Junsu didn’t want to look away from Yoochun to really see where they were.

Yoochun put his hand on the table, and Junsu put his hand on top of it. Their fingers curled together.

“Really?” Yoochun asked. “You ... will you go out with me? Not like ... boyfriends, I mean, just a date, to see, and I ...”

Junsu laughed and nodded. “Yes. I will go out with you.”

“Good. Good. Oh ... my phone number, and what do you want to do?”

Junsu shrugged. “Noraebang?”

“Yes, definitely.”

“KISS HIM!” someone shouted.

They both jumped and looked over at the group of girls that were giggling and watching them from across the lawn.

“Sorry,” Yoochun said and blushed and tried to hide his face. “I swear, those girls.”

Junsu blushed, too, but said, “You can, if you want. I haven’t ever kissed a boy before though, but yeah, you can.”

Yoochun met his eyes again. “Really? We haven’t even gone on a date though.”

“So what? I want to kiss you. And you spend enough time looking at my mouth that I know you want to kiss me, too.”

Yoochun still looked unsure, so Junsu leaned forward and whispered, “Kiss me, please.”

Yoochun nodded, and his face turned and Junsu sighed just before their lips met. His hand lifted, cupping Yoochun’s cheek, and the girls cheered them on.

Junsu broke the single press of lips and said, “That is for the song you wrote me. Write me another one and I’ll kiss you again.”

Yoochun’s smile brought another flutter to Junsu’s chest. And he decided that yes, this is what it meant. He was finally finding out what it meant to fall in love.


End file.
